Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
