I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
