apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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