If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
