just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
