Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
