Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She's the barista slut.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
