Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
