Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
