I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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