doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
