i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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