There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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