I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
