Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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