Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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