Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
