i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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