Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
