i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
