who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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