He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
