Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
