How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
