Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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