Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
