last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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