That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
