I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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