The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
