Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
there is glitter all over my balls
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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