I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
