that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
