I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
