Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
