would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize