are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
