Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
