I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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