dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize