Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Holy shit dude........stairs
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
