I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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