It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
