I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
