nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
