I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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