every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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