my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
