her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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