I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
