i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
A bitchslap is in order.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
