I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
