How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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