Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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