tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
